Throughout my life, I have knows several special people that I came to regard as my bestfriend. And along the way I lost several of them. Few, because of stupid feud, others due to backstabbing. And some simply lost interest in the friendship. Okay, I don't really mind because for me, I played my part to make the friendship work. Maybe not enough, but I did.
Now, I think I lost another close friend, whom I regard very highly since I knew this person.
I don't really know what happened. But I can only guess. At first I think it was only because he is busy or something. But now I am pretty sure that we became a bit distant. He once told me, don't get to attached since nothing can last forever. Yea, I guess I need to work on my dependence on others, and my over thinking self.
I can get attached with something too quickly, and over analyze things. Maybe because of my "engineer" self *LOL* or as I have accepted all these years, its because of me. I am also a type of person who cherish a beautiful friendship as it is. Yea, I did several things that may rock my friendships, but now, I did become better, and treat everyone the way they deserved.
Okay, I did lost interest in one of my friendships because for me, it took the whole lots of me, that it actually backfires. Third party claim said, I don't really have to end the friendship because it wasn't all on the other person. I do agree, but staying in the friendship will make me feel like this person has sucked me and my strength, my self-esteem. Why, you ask? Okay, this person get the thing I wanted the most, since we started become friend. He get ALL the things I wanted, which I believe I had helped him to achieve. Okay, I was happy for him. But recently I did some thinking, and it somehow makes me realize. Because I think that while this person gets everything that I ever dreamed of, I ended up where I have always been. Life is not fair, you say. Yea, try it on you. Have you ever experienced that you helped someone, and he/she get all that YOU ever wanted, while you sitting still watching from afar from where you are all these while? Don't ever say you are TOTALLY happy for that person. You are not so saintly yourself, I am very sure of that.
So if you who reads this, don't agree with me. Just wait until it happens to you.
Again, I don't blame him. I wasn't expecting something in return. But at least, I helped someone to achieve his dream, my life would be the way I dreamed it would be. Sigh, but no. Oh well. Life is not fair. And staying in the friendship will make me lost my strength. So I decided that I need to downgrade it from bestfriends, to friends. Haha. So childish, I suppose.
That's all.
Cheers
